//When you realise you can’t control everything.

When you realise you can’t control everything.

In this world, there are so many variable factors to ones ‘happiness.’ It is becoming more and more prominent in today’s age that people are struggling. With the increased use of technology to create connectivity between communities, you would think that it would be easier to find and access help should you need it.

Generally speaking, ego can be blamed. Whether that be ‘I’m above this, I don’t want to be here,’ on the other hand it could be ‘I really don’t feel like I deserve to be here.’ How you talk to yourself (yes, we all talk to ourselves) heavily influences the way that we actually end up conducting ourselves.

Having an understanding of you, how you work, what situations you like, what you don’t like, who you like to associate with, what you like to do in your spare time… All factor in to who you are. How you communicate to yourself this information, will dictate how you feel about it.

I have written previously, about how fear and excitement can often be confused. They are, scientifically speaking, the same physiological response. Sweaty palms, butterflies, blood rushes to the extremities to get ready to ‘fight or flight.’ Acknowledging the feeling, understanding it and re-programming your mind to send passionate, positive signals as opposed to nervous, negative signals that we originally think it is, is a long arduous task and can take many years to master.

There are many things in the world we can control. The food we eat. The people we interact with. How we think. There are also many things in the world we can’t control, politics, religion, Sandra grabbing the last loaf of tiger bread in Sainsbury’s that you were going to have for tea with the camambert.

The things you can control, you should. The things you can’t, don’t even bother trying. Just let go. Unless it is something that is very important to you and you can set yourself a goal to be influential in that area (or even make a slight difference to your small circle in the world) but in the grand scheme of things, the uncontrollable, needn’t be attempted to be controlled.

Figure out what works for you and what you enjoy then run with that. There is a time and a place to try and work on things that you aren’t good at. Practising new skills is a key element to success in many areas of life but so is concentrating on what we are good at. Gary Vaynerchuk is very big on this. He likes to rant about how people should ‘forget the sh*t that they’re not good at and triple down on the things that they are good at or passionate about.”

Muay Thai for me is exactly this. It is putting myself in a position to be broken down and rebuilt using positive, constructive criticism in an environment that provides safety and trust. The mental health benefits of, not just Muay Thai, but physical exercise of any kind has been proven to provide us with endless supplies of reinforcement.

It may not seem like it when you’re 150 kicks deep into a 200 kick repetition session or 3 rounds into a 10 round sparathon. But powering through what your mind tells you, achieving more than what you ever thought was possible really creates a mindset that you can do anything.

When I say anything, I don’t mean flying or something unrealistic. But when you put your body and mind through absolute hell in the gym, normal life stuff seems somewhat easier. I have heard Joe Rogan mention something like this, that if you don’t have any physical/mental challenges to overcome, you will get bored, destructive.

Especially those with a creative mind. Those whom do not fit into a regular box in society. The self-destructive button can very often come into play and before we know it, we have taken three steps back from the two steps forward we had previously taken. Understanding your triggers, spotting them when they begin to arise and putting a process in place to counteract the self-destruct mode that is imminently setting in.

I struggle with this on a daily basis. Being a business owner, I have to be prepared for the onset of the self-destructive. Over the past couple of years, I have really had to try and understand WHY my brain goes into the places that it does, and it is usually because of boredom, lack of motivation or interest and/or it has tapped into something a bit more unconscious that takes a bit more understanding.

What I am trying to get at here, especially with the title, is that you CAN’T control everything. Don’t even bother trying. We are blessed with an ability to influence the people with whom we come into contact with every day. If you can make a vow to try and positively influence your own actions, this will naturally, rub off and radiate from you and others will pick up on it.

I'm Dom. I am a lover of all things Muay Thai related. I have ran MTBUK since 2015 when it was conceived and plan on making MTBUK the 'go to' place for all things related to the Science of 8 Limbs. I have been writing for a little while now and hope you enjoy the content I put out here for you! Drop me a line and say hi!